Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Working woman, Moving, Bittersweet Symphony

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Yep that's right, I am now a working woman again, I started my job Monday. It's been nice, I have'nt worked outside of the home in 6 years now. I LOVE being a SAHM (Stay at home mom) but boy have I missed being apart of the real world to lol. Making money again, feels good, but I am not gonna lie, I miss my boys while I am gone!

I go for my Drivers licence this coming Tuesday, I can't wait! :) I think I can pass it, I have been doing all the driving for the pass few weeks, I am so ready!

We FINALLY are moving to our new home YAY! We close on Friday at 1:30am (after I get off of work), after that we have to stay there for a couple hours to let the cable and DSL people in and then we will be moving in all weekend. MIL is renting us a moving truck to get everything there all at once. We are so excited!

I think I am going to sit down a scrapbook a bit tomorrow :) Should be fun! I was thinking about doing this weeks AF DOND contest, we shall see :)

I changed the music from Cassie (me & u) to The Verve (Bittersweet Symphony), I love love love this song! It reminds me of one of my favorite movies of all time "Cruel Intentions" and the awesome ending that kicked ASS lol. Also it reminds me of my Husband :) When we first started dating and through our first year together (I was Pregnant with Austin) we would listen to music more than watch tv, just to enjoy each others company more, talk, when I would stay at his apartment etc. We both loved this radio station here (104.9) it played alot of good music we both loved ,I say played because it is no longer around :(. Anyways, this song played alot, and everytime we heard it we would be happy lol, so I would like you all to hear "OUR" theme song of 2000 LOL. I LOVE it!

On that note, I hope you all had an awesome day! :)

Nikki

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Lots to do today

First off here are those layouts I was working on that I said I would post two days ago...

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Thanks to Amy Howe and a challenge she had on her blog I got these layouts done. The challenge was to use Chatterbox and basic grey together on a layout.

Okay now randomness-

I got my new cell phone last week for work(it has a camera on it lol BONUS) It was awesome, Dustin's aunt (who I work for) calls into her cell phone company and tells them they need to add me to the service, I had to go down there thinking I have to sit and wait then fill out papers, nope not how it went down, I pull up to the place, walk in and I'am asked if I am Nikki, I say yes and then I am handed a bag which holds my new phone and told everything is working and ready, have a nice day, Dustin was surprised to see me back in the car in less then two minutes LOL, he had already taken the boys out of their car seats. Anyways, I called my best friend to give her the new number, guess what she was doing? She was at her moms house (who lives about two hours from where we all live) dropping her off for the week because her, her sister and her cousin (all of who I grew up with, I have known my BF for about 19 years now) are all heading out to Hawaii for the week, WHAT A lucky girl, I am so jealous LOL. I told her to make sure she takes pictures and has a glass of "something" for me lol. I told her to call me when she gets home this week so I can go over to her apartment and hear all about this "girls week" trip lol. I hope she had an awesome time and I want the dirt LOL.

I have so many things to do today, I have to go to the PO and mail off a package, I relisted the stuff I had up on ebay of course for way less then what I had them priced for, but what can I do, I need to make some kinda money, it's almost time to pay fees again grrrr, eBay sucks right now. We are heading over to the new house today, it is almost done YAY, I can not wait I am so ready, I am at the point now where It has been LONG enough here and everything is starting to piss me off and you can tell almost everyone else feels the same (I can tell by the comments I here). Before if someone had a tude in the house I would ignore it, now every little comment, look, etc pisses me off. Deep breath lol. Okay well I need to get off the computer and get going on my busy day. TTYS

Nikki

Friday, August 18, 2006

YAY I scrapbooked

Thanks to Amy Howe and a challenge she did on her blog I actually scrapbooked for myself (and I did one for Jen :) In total I did three layouts in the last two days, layouts that I have to say I am proud of and really like. I will post all three tomorrow on my blog (I am to tired to photoshop the last one lol). It's been nice to just sit here and not worry about things for eBay or assignments. I forgot how fun scrapbooking can be lol. I also watched more Degrassi on the- N lol (I know I know stop laughing lol) I love this show, I am such a sucker for teen-ie shows lol.

I should probably get to bed soon, I have girls morning with mom first thing (we are getting our toes and nails done, it's a tradition lol) and mayber do lunch, then back home to get ready for a day in Santa Cruz and the beach YAY. We love the boardwalk! Austin wants to go in the haunted house and I want so more beach pictures of the boys before summer is over so this should be perfect :) mmmmm and boardwalk fries YUMMY! I can't wait.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

PS. I watched BB livefeeds a bunch today! All I have to say is WOW! You are all in for some shockers on Sunday!

Nikki

Friday, August 11, 2006

These Eyes

There are times in my life that I stare up at the sky and wonder why my life deals me days, weeks, months even years like today. I often say (joking-ly of course) That I must have been a horrible person in another life to go through the things I have to somedays. I wonder if I was tough, if I did not take crap from others, if I was strong, if I did not let others walk all over me, all the things I am not in this life.

I can look back at the girl I was ten years ago and see "Fresh Eyes" a girl new to the world with so many hopes and dreams, eyes that could not wait to see the future. I can look back 6 years ago and see " New beginning Eyes" a girl who has seen some of the future she envisioned 6 years back, Some good and some bad, but she had strength and could deal with it, she could see a little bit of her future, it involved a boy and a baby on the way. Something new and something scary, the future looked bright, full of hope, full of new beginnings, full of love.

I fast forward 6 years to "present day" girl, she now looks at life with "unknowing Eyes" things all around her have changed. When she looks in the mirror she does not see her eyes from her past, she seems distant, confused, it's a time in her life where everything is changing, some for the good, some confusing, some for the worst, and somethings remain the same, but not much.

In her eyes there is a sense of loss, she seems tired, scared, and feels as if she lost her strength she once had, the person she once was. Who is this girl looking back in the mirror, present day with these eyes? She is one who "girls" and "Eyes" from the past would never know and with that she feels alone. Looking at the world and this life, with alone eyes.

By Nikki

Yep I am in a poop-y mood this week

Monday, August 7, 2006

Blah, recent layouts I have made...

Today was such a BLAH day. In fact I can not wait to go lay down and pull the covers over my head. Yep when it rains it sure does pour. We found out today that they are now going to add two more weeks on to when our house will be ready, which means both Dustin and I will be working, Austin will be in school (we will have to drive back and forth across town for this), things will be nuts for those extra two weeks. I honestly just want my normal life back :( I miss having a home of our own, don't get me wrong I am so blessed for what is happening but I just miss well my life with just my family, being independent, feeling like an adult, sleeping in my own bed, etc. Dustin and MIL also have more paperwork to sign for this house (since it is MIL who got it for us) and once that is done and they finish building the porch things should be good and all that is left is the walk through. I can not wait to see :)

eBay still stinks lol, nothing of course is selling again, why do I even bother :( I am just starting to owe more in fees for listing there then I am selling nowadays. I am pretty much scared to keep spending the time it takes to make each design just to have it not sale. It costs me money everytime something does not sell. I don't know what to do about it :( I am going to give it one more month and it things do not look up I will just give up on eBay and stop selling.

Here are some recent layouts I have made :) Goodnight

Nikki

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And a card I did for LRS :)

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Tired, eBay- should I? Or should I not?

I have been so tired lately. I go to bed at about 10:30pm and wake up at 8-8:30am, so I am getting enough sleep yet around 4-5pm I feel so beat. Like now, I have been typing this post for about a minute now and have yawned twice. I wanted to get on to listen/watch my big brother live feeds but think I may go read a little am take a small nap.

I worked so hard this weekend on layouts for eBay. I put them up yesterday but none have sold yet, maybe they are just crappy or eBay is slow again, It's so funny, when we seem to really need the money I get no bids, but when we are fine and it is just extra cash then they sell like crazy. I was excited to get started on more layouts and kits for eBay last night after listing but, now I feel discouraged, it always happens like this, then I am stuck, should I make more and pay the fees to list more kits so they don't sell and I end up owing eBay for layouts I listed that did not sell and am now stuck with? or Should I keep going and make more stuff because heck, maybe I will get lucky and get a bid? I am at a loss with this whole eBay thing, I am debating, should I continue it or should I just give it up, I start my job in three weeks full time (meaning 5 days a week, two hours a day), it pays more then eBay does in a week. I don't know, because I do enjoy doing eBay too. Like I said I am at a loss with this.

Yawn lol (I have done it two more times now)


well sorry this post is so boring today, like I said I am tired lol, okay I am going to go read a little than take that nap.

TTYL,

Nikki

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Thank you, It's the weekend and I am working, Driving a new car, NEW CBX paper

Thank you to all of you who posted to my last post. I was really down about all of that and it helped a lot, knowing others have been there. Your comments mean a lot to me!

Okay, I worked on eBay stuff all day yesterday and plan on doing it again today :) I am on a roll. I think I may even squeeze in a layout for myself today too. What have I been watching while I work? Hmmmm LOL, well, I am a huge fan of all the Teen-y shows and movies, Love movies like "Bring it on", Shows like Dawsons creek, Gilmore Girls, One tree hill, and I am now going to admit that I am a Huge "Degrassi" fan LOL. I am so serious! I remember watching the first Degrassi (Jr. High and High School) shows back in 1987. I loved this show so much and although I was way younger then the kids on the show I still loved to watch it back then. NOW a days they have Degrassi The Next Generation, and it has been on for about 5 years now. I have watched LOL. I love this show. Well anyways, my point of all this, they have a marathon for the next three weekends (starting each Friday-Sunday) that will showcase all 100 shows (of DTNG. So I have been watching this :) on Noggin while I work. Fun stuff! LOL. I am going to work all weekend and try and get as much stuff up as I can for this coming week. Crossing fingers I get it done.

MIL's sil gave us her older car (93 maxima) because she just got a brand new 2006 car (lol can't remember what it was called). Today was my first day driving this car. It's very different! I am so use to driving an SUV lol, I love SUV's. I admit I was nervous in the tiny car today lol. One thing I did like was you can switch lanes faster lol and easier. (if you live(d) in CA you know it is a PITA to switch lanes, people are always in a hurry and won't let you in. So that was one thing I liked about the smaller car. I think I will be letting Dustin take it over though and I will just keep using our explorer. Like I said I like driving bigger cars, make me feel safer lol.

So I had to stop at one of the lss yesterday for some CBX greenhouse papers ( sadly they did not have any :( ) but they did have a few sheets of the brand new paper that just came out by CBX. I of course picked up a couple sheets. I have to say, that I now have two new favorite chatterbox lines. The first one is...

Gazebo

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The colors in this line remind me of the "Cabin" line, which I loved so much! I love this first pattern so much and can not wait to make something with it :)

The second line is

Courtyard

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This line is beautiful and the perfect colors for my "BOYISH" layouts, I got a few sheets of this line LOL.

I am so loving the new CBX stuff!

Okay I better get to work. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Nikki

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Back at MIL'S, Working x2, winkflash

We are back from D's aunts house and house sitting. I have to say that was a nice "vacation". We all had fun, SIL and I watched a few movies at night (Witchboard, the hills have eyes, and burnt offerings) The boys had a great time playing in the yard, with the bunny, the dirt, water and some skies D's uncle was throwing out. I worked two of the days which was nice. It was a great time with our family. I really missed that feeling of "Just us". No worries.


We are now back at MIL'S and the tention still seems to be a bit high with some people in the house :( It makes me so depressed. Yes I know it is tough for everyone in this house to have us here this long (3 months) it's tough on us too, It makes me feel like we are burdens. And I just over heard another rude comment, I had just dressed Aidan so he could go outside with D and D's uncle who are taking down SIL's old playhouse in the backyard. The comment was about how "it's about time Aidan finally has some clothes on and is not naked (it was snarkly). MIL and Dustin tell me to just let these things roll off and not pay attention to them but it is hard! I hate to hear anyone put down my kids (I have heard comments here and there and it makes me sad!) First of all we have been trying to potty train Aidan and we were successful with My oldest son, by letting him run around naked during the day. Here is the thing, we ASKED (the people who are in the house during the day) if this was okay to do (we did not want to offend anyone) everyone said yes. So why make a comment like that? Both Aidan and Austin like to run around like that when it's hot (NO AC in the house) what small child does'nt? We have less then 4 weeks to go until our house is done, I have to say although I enjoy being around my MIL, she is such a great woman, I have been so stressed out being here, depressed, sad, I feel like I have to walk on egg shells around some people, I question everything I do, the boys do, even D, will we get yelled at? Will someone be upset if we do this or that? If something goes wrong, something breaks, is moved etc, I can't help but feel like we are blammed for it. I set up my computer and eBay work stuff down stairs and I feel like people are looking at me and thinking WHY did she do that? I just feel so, well un normal, your world really does get turned upside down when you make a big move like we all did. I totally know this will get better once we are in our own place I just can't help but feel like, well, like everyone hates me (us) here. That we are on everyones last nerve, very UNwelcome. You know when you get that feeling, like something is wrong, like someone does not like you, that the sight of you makes them just not want to be in the same room as you, I get that here (not by my MIL, she never makes me feel this way.) from some people. Makes me feel like shit actually. I go back and forth in my head thinking about what I could do to make people like me, and no matter what I do, it does not seem to be good enough. I feel like everyone thinks I am a joke here. What I do is a joke. I have a real job now, plus I do my eBay work which is the money that is coming in for our family right now, but I feel like no one takes that serious, like they look at it like I am just having fun, sitting on my butt and scrapbooking. When I am really earning the money for gas in our car and things we need. I don't know, I am just sad!

On a lighter note, I am really liking my job working for Dustin's aunt again (I worked for her while I was PG with Austin 5 years ago). It's fun. I have also been driving everwhere. I am scraed to death of the freeways here (lol just ask anyone who has driven a freeway here lol) so I have been taking the expressways. I think I am totally ready to take my drving test next week so I am going to make an appointment tomorrow for it. I have to say I am so excited about this LOL. I am sure you know why lol, I am 27 years old and am just now doing this (Driving) lol, I am getting over a fear and it feels GREAT! Who would have ever thought pulling up to McDonalds and ordering a couple happy meals would be so fun LOL. Driving ROCKS! Makes me feel independent.

I am starting to sell more on eBay (knock on wood, don't want to jinx myself lol) which is great. I have been trying something new and enjoying it. I will post some of what I am doing here later on tonight when I can resize.

I have to say I just love ordering pictures from Winkflash.com I have been going to them for about a year and a halk now and they not only are super fast at shipping (2 days) but they are such a great price, I mean 5x7 prints (my favorite size to scrapbook lol) are only $.27 can you believe that! The quality is amazing!

Okay well I better get back to my eBay stuff. Sorry for the down post, I just had to get some stuff off my chest and I feel good now that I did, I have been so down lately and I feel better getting it out. Thanks for listening.

Nikki