I hate feeling so blue :( but lately it's starting to really get to me. I know a lot of people are going through stuff right now with the economy being so stinky right now. I am depressed right now. Mostly because of the fact that I still do not have a working car for me. It's been since the first week of June that the transmission went out on the explorer. We have fixed it so many times since we have gotten it and with money and Dustin only have the one job now money is just to tight to spend $3000 to fix it. I was fine with it at first, I got to use my MIL's car (she has a couple, so it was not putting her without a car) this past summer for Aidan's preschool which is a bit far if you have three kids to walk to. I was so grateful for that. But just as soon as school started for everyone I was without a car again. I now walk if we need to get somewhere during the day that is close by. But being stranded in this home for the last 4 1/2 months has really gotten to me now. I was doing good losing weight but as the weeks go by I get more blue and I now have gained 5 pounds. I miss doing the normal things, like shopping at the store, running errands just being able to be apart of the outside world that is more then a few blocks away. I miss having some kind of independence, I now have to rely on my husband for everything again, Doctors appointments, shopping, I have to wait around for him to get home if there is something I want to do, then I feel guilty for everyone ( hubby and the kids) because we have to drag everyone out if I want to go to the library or anything that has to do with me. Another thing is I have tried to get a job, putting in apps in a few places but a lot of people are being laid off right now, so that is hard. I just want things to get better :( I am so tired of feeling this way! I hate being depressed, it makes me moody and causes problems with everyone.
Anyways sorry for the downer post, I am just blue today and this has been on my mind. I am going to go finish the rest of my book before Dustin and Austin leave. They have a date with my MIL and her family at the movies to see the new James Bond movie (my MIL's treat) This gives me time to spend with Aidan and Bella tonight. I am thinking some reading, coloring and a movie, they will like that and maybe I will be able to relax some :)
I have some pictures I will post tomorrow to make up for the downer post :)