Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The voice within

Well I changed my music for this page to one of my favorite songs, This song has been an anthem to me through some rough times. I used this song on a layout I did last summer, layout entitled "The voice within" also. This layout meant so much to me! Not only was it one of my first layouts I ever did for my
"book of me" album, but it touch on a deeper part of my life, a battle that I over came. An eating disorder and it touched the surface of the depression I suffer from. I would like to share with you the journaling I did for this layout, right now I can't share the layout because it is being published in Memory Makers Ideabook "My scrapbook My story". I am so nervous about it being published. My own personal battles with depression and an eating disorder is going to be out there in the world for millions of people to see, to read, and in a way I feel blessed, maybe there are others out there that will be touched by my story, my layout because maybe they have been through something like it? Anyways here is the journaling on this layout...

"I have thought about making this layout for sometime now.This page is for my about me album. I realized in making this album that I have to include the good with the not so good.I included on this layout a song I like to think of as an Anthem for me. I suffer from depression, I have since I was 11 years old. I grew up thinking I had to be perfect, look and act perfect. The sad feelings and thoughts I had soon became an eating disorder, that I suffered with until my early twenties. I may have looked and seem normal on the outside but inside I felt alone. I thought constantly about flaws in myself and problems I seemed to cause others. Eventually, through counseling and my family and friends, I learned that many others battle depression, that I am not alone.I found the strength to over come my ED. I still have off days where I battle mild depression, but the thing that keeps me on track are my husband and boys. Also the great bond I have with my dear friends I found on an online community. I know that if I trust in myself and listen to the voice within things will be okay!"

"Song lyrics "Voice within"
Young girl, don't cry I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants to bother to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength That will guide your way
You'll learn to begin To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight And soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

Life is a journey It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning You'll find all you'll ever need to know
Be strong, You'll break it, Hold on, You'll make it
Just don't go forsake it because No one can tell you what you can do
No one can stop you...

When there's no one else Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin ,To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Trust the voice within"

I have been thinking about this layout a lot now that it is so close to being out for the public eye to see.I am very proud I submitted it this and so honored it was picked up! And I am glad God gave me the courage to write it down, after all what is scrapbooking? It's a wonderful outlet and it allows you to share your life and memories with your loved ones, GOOD or BAD! I want to challenge those of you who read my blog, How about you sit down and think about something you have over come in life or you are going through, something personal, something with real feelings and meaning and please show me! I would love to see! It can be about anything just something about you good or bad!

Okay I better get back to work, everyone is alseep and this is the perfect time for me to get things done :) Good night

Nikki

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