AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ever just feel like screaming? Sadly I could only do it here, if I try doing it out loud here I may scare one of my children, so here I will do it! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Do I feel better? nope! To say I have had a sucky last two days is an understatement, it's been horrible! It all started yesterday when my DH told me something that I am not sure he was suppose to, it was a rather harsh comment made by someone close to us about my parenting skills or lack there of (believe me I have gotten plenty of these through the years from a couple different people). Apprently after cleaning house all day I am not suppose to relax and take a break and read a book for 10 minutes in my room while keeping an eye on the baby who I am also trying to get to sleep (multi-tasking) when my older children are in the house, in the living room watching tv and coloring in their coloring books, because they may get the urge to sharpen those very crayons on our carpet for the 100th time that month instead of in the trash can and said person gets to witness it , did'nt you know?... a good parent is glued to their child 24 hours a day, I wonder if I would have been a bad parent if I was not reading and in fact was maybe going potty(yep I said potty lol, hello mother of three here)? would that excuse it? Even though I think this was ridiculous, that it was even brought up to my husband (It feels like I am being tattled on, treated like a child) and I honestly feel like I did nothing wrong, I read a damn book for 10 minutes, my kids were not burning down the house (and might I add we were all waiting for said person to get here so it was not like the visit was out of the blue, we were all waiting around for said person who was running late) I still feel bad, why I have no idea, am I a bad mom for doing that, nope I don't think so. I was very angry about this yesterday, it got to me so bad that I cried over it! I always feel pressure like this from some family members because I am the one who stays home, I feel like I get less respect, like they think this is all a cake walk (I have even been told by someone that this is a free ride for me (being a SAHM that is)), that I am sitting on all things that are wide and eating bon bons all day. Little does this person know that my day starts at 6:00am and does not end until early hours. I cook and clean and take care of 4 people.
Being a SAHM is ALOT of work! I get up two-three times a night to feed, change and try and get a new baby back to sleep, I am up again for good at 6am with my hubby, get all things in order so my son gets off to school okay, when I return home from that (oh and this is were it gets good, it's like groundhog day the movie on permanent repeat everyday) I get online and make a TODO list for the day at an online community (I am often called Wonder Woman because of how long it is lol), most days it's the same or almost same list, it lists all the things I need to clean, the laundry I have to do everyday, it is a LONG list of hours worth of cleaning, on days I have all three kids with me (weekends, or weekday nights this happens) I will clean one room and move on to the next, once I finish that the first room is a mess again.) Some days I run errands, most days not, do you know how hard it is to take three kids ranging from 4months-6 1/2 years old out anywhere? I can tell you that even when it is my DH and I we have a hard time. Even when my own mother calls to see how I am doing 90% of the time my answer is "cleaning something", she is here almost every week and knows what this takes, what I do, what I put into our family, what does she say? She says I am great at this, I am a good mother and both her and my dad are proud of me. That is what I cling onto when I am given comments like the one I started this blog post out with. I KNOW I am the best mom I can be, I put 110% into this and I can not tell you how happy I am that I get the chance to stay home and see my children grow, that I am here with them during the day and here when they are home from school, that I am the one who does homework with them, or teaches them how to write their name, I feel so lucky, so blessed that I get to do this, I just hate that others see it as me getting a free ride in life or not being good enough in their standards of what a good mom is, so in their eyes I not only have to be Wonder Woman, but I have to be supergirl, Shera and all the other female superheros out there, but all rolled into one.
It takes two, both my hubby and I to equally run this family, he works outside the home for us and I work inside the home for us, we are a team. So why the heck do I get ridiculous comments like the one above? I suppose it is because said person only comes around once a week or sometimes every other week and only see's the 10 minutes in my day that I can relax and take a 10 minute break to read a book while getting the baby to sleep (remember multi-tasking, it's the SAHM's word of the day) while my children watch TV, color in their coloring books and sharpen crayon shavings on the carpet. ;0)
Well I did have a couple more things to vent about, there is the mess that was today lol and of course me turning 29 on Wednesday, but I think I am going to go relax and read my book (New Moon by Stephenie Meyer).....because the kids are all asleep of course :)