First I just wanted to say I am so happy and proud of my friends who made it on the AF DT, you all did amazing work!!!
now on to my self pity =)
Well I just went to Peas to sit and wait and see if the AF DT calls have started and found out they came and went while I was dealing with this mornings DRAMA. I am a loser! lol loser= "I did not make the team". So on comes the why was I not good enough phase. Well I should have known better since all my layouts and projects I sent in hardly got any Praise when I posted in the gallery, but I still held on to something, hope I guess, I should have just blocked it out of my mind, because maybe I would not be doubting myself right now. Now I am sitting here wondering do I deserve even being on the teams I am on now? My recent work, is it good or does it stink? Am I letting people down that I work for? I sit here and spend hours and hours on ONE layout! it takes me ALL day to do one, sometimes when I look at a layout I have just done I think WHY? on earth did this simple looking thing take me hours to make? I am embarressed now :( I don't know why I am beating myself up about this so much, is my work to much? To plain? to shabby? UGLY? Not hip enough? What is wrong with me? Well I tried my hardest and failed, I guess it was just not meant to be for me! I doubt I even made it in to the 39 or so that they were picking from, I bet I was the first to be drafted, okay you may think I am acting childish now, I totally agree, I am hurt :(, I feel like I have failed, I am sure I will feel better tomorrow, but for now I just want to wallow in my self pity. One thing I am very proud about with my entries is that I stayed true to ME, My scrapbooking, I have always said that journaling is the number one thing I LOVE about scrapbooking, and I used it on every layout I made, so even though my layouts did not help me make the team, they did help me get apart of our lives done for our books. Okay see I am already feeling a little better, and have started to thanks to Mely! I am chatting with her in AIM and she has been great! Thanks Girlie! I am so glad you are one of my good friends! You always know how to make me laugh! Now go read that last IM too, I want those 4 pictures of Princess Dani to scrap book, I NEED to scrap a girl lol ;)
Okay Self Pity party is over ;) Thanks for listening to me whine a little ;)
thinking good thoughts.....My boys......puppies......bunnies......mmmm john mayers yummy Lips..... =)