Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Funny like that

Woke up to more drama today, I have now decided that this whole week is just bad luck I guess! Please someone explain to my WHY my family can't ever get a break???? When will we ever be happy? I am so depressed! When the crap hits the fan it REALLY hit's it! I am going to try not to dwell on it to much or I won't be able to get anything done but I just pray to God that things will finally start looking up for my family, for my husband who deserves a break and peace of mind that he is working hard for his family, for my boys who deserve the world! As for me all I ask is for the strenghth to get my job done the next couple days!

Well the scrapbook trends October "halloween" calls went out today and I know I should not have put so much in to it but I honestly thought I would get published in it :( I have always wanted to be in a halloween magazine (october issue) or ideabook. These issues are the only ones I get each year of ALL the Scrapbook magazines out, it's my favorite time of year, it always makes me happy, the smells, the colors, the feeling I get. God I wish it were fall/october now :(

I am starting to regret moving to ID, believe me I love it so much but we have just been struggling so hard with money, family and our marriage. I want to be in CA, where I am close to my family, I miss getting out, having a break, saturdays with my mom, dates with Dustin everything. Since moving here yes of course we are living in a bigger, nicer apartment but all we both do is work, there is no time left for US. I wish I made smarter choices for my family back when we started, I wish I saved more money and kept my job longer, I wish while we were in CA I did have a job because there were always someone in the family I could trust to watch the boys. Why did I not do this? There are so many things I wish I could have done differently the past 5 years, maybe it would have been better where we are now. I feel so useless to my family, I should be doing more!


  1. Hang in there- it has to start getting better soon. I am always here for you if you wanna vent.

  2. awwwwww hon - it will get better - you just need to stop looking at everything and break it into little pieces that you can deal with - trust me - that's the only way I've survived out here.

    Things will get better - I promise you! It might not happen overnight but it will happen.

    If you want to talk - you know where I am!

  3. nikki (((HUGS))) if you need to talk. . i'm here to listen. . i'm sorry you're feeling down!