Thursday, May 26, 2005

Pure Imagination

Phew, I spent today cleaning house, YUCK I can not tell you how much I hate to clean the boys room lol, I find yucky things everytime. So for the past two weeks we have not had any fastfood (lol well because we had no money for it) which is a good thing. I have been eating better and so far for my TWO PEAS Diet I have lost 7lbs, so I am on my way to the 13 I said I would lose in two weeks, crossing fingers. Lisa just reminded me that QVC Creating keepsakes is on so I am watching. It is always fun to watch. I was making the boys hot cocoa this morning and while it was in the microwave Aidan and I were dancing and singing, well Austin tells me "Mom please stop singing, your breaking my ears and the windows" LOL and a little while ago we were watching the three stooges cartoon on boomerang, in the cartoon the stooges are robots and you all know how much austin loves robots lol, well he told me that he is still a robot and told me that his robot tools are in his tummy, that his tummy opens up and that is where he keeps his tools LOL. He is so funny! I LOVE age 4, he has such an imagination

I sold another kit on EBAY last night, it went for $29.99 and I have two more up now going for the same price. I think it makes Dustin so happy to see that I am working hard to help out our family. My mother emailed me pictures from folks trip to my dad's family reunion this past weekend. So I emailed her back and sent her a few of the newest pictures of the boys. Then I was not sure it went through so I called to see. She was happy to hear from me because it's been a couple weeks. I have'nt wanted to talk to her because I had been feeling so depressed with our many problems lately, I knew she would sence something was wrong so I did not call. Well we got to talking and she was checking her blood pressure, she was a little scared because when she was ironing before I called she started to feel heart palbatations (sp) again, she has been having these off and on for a couple months now and has been in and out of the hospital. She will be going to the Doctors on Friday and has been keeping a journal of her blood pressure, she said it was at 182 which is SUPER High. I am very worried about her. She is on some funky blood pressure meds to, that she is hoping to get changed. Well we talked for a long time and she started asking some questions and we started to talk about some of the problems we are having at home. She asked about Dustin's hospital visit a few weeks ago and I told her about that and said we got the $900+ bill that the insurance might pay some of which means we would end up with a $500 bill like last time. Then she asked about Dustin's work, which got into the "Car" problems and how our family car "the explorer" trany went out. Then it was on to the bills talk. By then I was upset and so was she. She was upset because we did not go to them sooner. I told her I just did not want to bother them with our problems, because they are great great people and always want to help. I feel so bad! We are adults and still need help, it makes me so sad to burden them with it. She went on to talk about how they are paying for my sisters med school and helpping her with rent, that they want to do something for us to, so she said as soon as my dad gets home this weekend she would talk to him about getting us on top again and getting our car fix. I am so greatful for the parents I have, and even though the worry we wake up with will be gone, I still have that hurt feeling in my heart that I had to burden my folks with this. I want them to be proud of me, but how can they be proud when, I have to ask for help like this? I let my mom know that us being behind on bills and -$ in the bank is mostly my fault. I should have NEVER gotten the camera from QVC. I thought I could make the $200 payments each month for it, but I have not been ontop of ebay like I wanted to inorder to pay for it which helpped us overdraft two weeks ago and when dustin got paid half of his check went to the camera payment and the overdraft fee. and now this time, was because of the poor communication between Dustin and I and the budget book. He did not give me all the gas slips and walmart slips so I did not know where we were in the book and we ended up overdrafting a few times, the overdraft fees are $33 each time and we have 7 now, so that there and the new camera payment is half of Dustin's pay check and since we have only had enough money for food and gas this month we are now behind on bills and NOW rent is due nect week! So Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers about what we should do and giving me strength to get through this and most of all THANK YOU lord for giving me the parents I was blessed with! I asked you to see us through this and to please help us get through it and you answered! A wise friend of mine told me...

"God has a bigger plan for you than what you can ever begin to imagine, even if it doesn't seem like it right now... He's in charge and as CRAZY as things are right now... He knows what He's doing. right???"

She was right! When things seem the lowest I need to remember that I need to just keep faith that things will work out, that God never gives us more then he thinks we can handle!

Okay I think I am going to start a new post for my park thread lol because it is going to have pictures and a couple stories and I don't want this entry to be a mile long lol ;)

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